It was my birthday yesterday and dan1 is still claiming he has been sick I am starting to kind of believe him. But he still denying that his family was staying they did not stay. But I did get a - question #17714

phone call with concern of his state of mind about our situation. I wrote stuff and I read it to him and he cried and I cried. He seems genuine about us this time around like almost that he has faith that we are going to work out. It's always just mixed signals because he tells me one thing and then ask another. He tells me he don't want a relationship with me in the future but then is upset when I have to go home. And I told him every time I go home I feel lost without him like my soul is hurting. I know deep down he is my soulmate and I have love for him that I've never had for anybody else. But we are like fuel and fire and it's difficult and heartbreaking. As for Dan two I am no longer interested in his gigolo ways that I believeg that he lives.I think he found something he thought was better but still plays games behind shadows and screens. I don't understand why this man is always checking up on me if he's not interested. The reason why I was interested in him was because it was a fresh start and we seem to have a very intense connection. Or maybe I was just grieving and in a dark place and looking for attention. I thought it would be a great connection and we could actually grow into something. But he didn't want that he was already in a relationship with someone else the woman he lives with. And I believe that there was others I wasn't the only one. I am no longer going to engage into that norsearch nor allow that connection to go anywhere. I am at a confused State at this moment but I think I need to step back and work on myself. I kind of look at it as if either of them wanted to be with me they would be. Am I reading this wrong and if so why?